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stand up to the stringent list of demands we all tally in our heads while dating. Case in point: glasgow herald online dating No one is tall, wears impossibly soft scarves, doesnt bite their fingernails and loves to read in bed while classical music softly filters from upmarket speakersand even if they are all of those things and more, there will inevitably be some other. We can start cultivating a positive attitude, and we can choose not to believe the stinking thinking that tells us we should bail if something doesnt fit our idea of perfection. Once we take responsibility for this, we can start to practice relating to ourselves and our partner in a healthier manner.
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When the dishwasher gets fixed, the dog gets sick. Its just a reminder that you and your partner are both annoyingly human. We tend to wait for the perfect relationship to avoid dealing with our own issues around intimacy and perfectionism, says Green. It makes you less self-centered. Hannah Green, a Bay Area psychotherapist specializing in individual and couples therapy, to find out more. In this instance, the theory goes that in a healthy relationship, 80 percent of it should be amazing, and the other 20 percent should be things you can live with. The trick is to actually enjoy where you and your partner have your problems, says Green. It has ben dating i mørket australia nothing to do with settling. The point being that human beings are a pain in the ass sometimeswe have quirks and sore spots, we get sick, grumpy and scared. Green doesnt mince her words here: Holding out for the 100 percent relationship, or even the 95/5, is a pipe dream that keeps us from growing up and enjoying sustainable relationships, she says. The 20 percent problems theory extends to all aspects of life, says Green.